The First Step
by MewPainappuru
Summary: High school is over and done with, and that means only one thing for Kotomi. College in America. But does she have the courage to leave her home and her friends behind?


**Here is yet another one-shot that I put together instead of working on my bigger stories. For anyone who was reading those... I'm really sorry I've been so slow. Hopefully I'll be able to get back to them soon. This is another Kotomi fic because I absolutely adore her. And this was fairly hard for me to write, but I think it turned out well, so I'm excited to hear what you all think. __********__****____****I'm completely open to criticism, so please feel free to make suggestions on what I should change and how I can make this better. I live to please! Please review! I really do want to know what you think.**

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Clannad/Clannad After Story. All characters belong to their respective owners.**_

In her left hand, Kotomi held her violin case, and in her right was an old, worn briefcase that had once belonged to her father. Her grip tightened on both handles as she gradually made her way through the large building. Beside her, her godfather walked silently, occasionally stealing a glance at the teen to gauge her expression. Every now and then, Kotomi would catch him looking, and he would promptly turn his head and start staring straight ahead again. He was a nice man, but Kotomi really wished that he would stop looking at her like that. She was well aware that her unease was plain to see on her face. But could anyone blame her? This was nerve-racking, and every tentative step closer to their destination only made her want to turn around and run away more. But she knew that she couldn't. She had already made a commitment, and she wasn't going to back down now, no matter how terrified she may be. She was just going to have to get over it.

"Kotomi…?"

Her godfather's low, rumbling voice startled Kotomi and she jumped slightly before looking up and meeting his eyes. His concern for her was evident in his every feature, and she started to feel a little guilty for putting him through this. He probably had a lot of work that he needed to do, but he had gladly agreed to help her with this journey of hers. Since presenting her with her father's briefcase, she had become closer to the man, and allowed him to become a bigger part of her life. She was eternally grateful for all he was doing. "Yes…?" she responded softly after a few seconds of silence.

"Do you need anything from any of these shops before we go? The flight is a long one, and I don't want you to be without anything."

Kotomi took a quick look around, eyeing the many gift shops and small eateries. Was there anything she needed…? Certainly not food. Her stomach was doing so many flips at the current moment that she couldn't even imagine eating at a time like this. It would only make her nauseous. And she doubted she needed anything a common gift shop would have to offer. The briefcase she was carrying already held everything she considered would be essential that she have with her. She had her wallet, passport, and a few other important documents, several books to read, a notebook, various pens and pencils, and a small box of pills meant to help with motion sickness. She couldn't really think of anything else she might need. All of her other belongings were in a suitcase that she had departed with a baggage drop-off. Giving her head a small shake she said, "No… I think I'm alright. I believe I have everything I need. Thank you though…"

"Of course. I understand this is your first flight, correct? I just want to make sure you're as comfortable and prepared as possible."

Kotomi nodded in understanding. He was simply looking out for her. And she truly appreciated it. Especially because she knew that if she had attempted this alone, she never would have made it past the security check before she ran away and locked herself away in her home forever. As they approached their terminal, she glanced out a large window and her eyes widened at the sight of the enormous plane standing right there. She felt her legs start to shake and she swallowed a lump in her throat. In just a few minutes, she would be sitting on that plane, on her way to America. Her very first plane ride… It was exciting, but petrifying. As much as she wanted to focus on what awaited her in America, all she could think of was her parents. They had perished on a plane. What if she was fated to do the same? There was still so much that she had yet to do in her life… So many people that she would be leaving behind… Kotomi felt her eyes start to well up and she stopped in her tracks, dipping her head to hide her tears with her bangs. The past couple of days had been so full of tears that she had hoped she would have run out of them by this point. But apparently, that wasn't the case… She'd spent time with her friends, saying her goodbye and making their final days together last. But now… Standing in the terminal, it **really** hit her that she was leaving. She was leaving her home, her comfort place, all her friends… Everything. She was going to be miles away, and completely on her own. And she was terrified. She felt as if her knees were going to give out from under her, and so she was too nervous to try and take another step.

"Kotomi…" Her godfather moved so he was standing in front of her, then got down on one knee, his gray-blue eyes filled with worry and sympathy. He placed his hands over hers and gently loosed her grip on the handles of her carry-ons so he could take them from her. "I know you're scared, and I would be even more concerned if you weren't. But you know… Your mother and your father would be so proud of you for taking such a huge step in life, despite your fears. And once we land in America, you're going to be so proud of yourself as well." He paused and gave her a small smile. "Do you remember the words in the note from your parents that I gave you? What did your father say?"

Kotomi nodded her head slowly, tears now slipping down her cheeks. Of course she remembered what her father said. She had read that note over so many times that she had it committed to memory. "Even… Even if your life is full of… of tears and sorrow…" Her voice was watery and quivering, so soft that it was almost inaudible. "Th-This world is still…" she paused to let out a shaky exhale, "…still a beautiful place. Open your eyes, and see it for yourself. Do what you want to do. Be who you want to be. Find fr-friends to share the good and the bad with you… Enjoy life. Don't be in a hurry to grow up…"

"Your father was an incredibly wise man. He knows what he's talking about here. You have some of the most amazing friends. I have seen how much they've helped you grow, and I know that they will always be there for you. Through the good and the bad, just like your father said. And I know that this is something that you really want. I can see it clearly in your eyes, beyond the fear that clouds them. Enjoy this moment, even if it seems a little scary. It's going to be worth it. I promise. Besides… Before you know it, you'll be home again for your winter break."

The only reply she could muster was a nod of her head. She knew that he was right. And she wanted, more than anything, to make her parents proud of her. And that's why she had to continue with this. She had to find the strength to keep walking. She had to get on that plane, even though it was going to be hard to leave behind everything and everyone that she loved. She was going to go to America and try out the schooling they had there. And she was going to make her dreams come true. She lifted a trembling hand to her face and brushed away the tears, slowly returning her godfather's smile. And before she was really aware of what she was doing, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. "Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much…"

**_Thank you so much for reading! It would mean the world to me if you would review and let me know what you think!_**

**_Mew Painappuru_**


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